Chapter 38 – Football’s Four Sons

5 09 2010

Sorry that last chapter was a bit of a downer – I was really, really upset after the fire and the loss of Lockpick.

Until, that is, I happened to look through the various family members’ opportunities. It turns out Nora has some good friends down at the science center. She paid them a visit and called in a few favors.

And thus Lockpick became heir once more! This is, after all, supposed to be a comedy not a tragedy. It’s not my fault if it turns out to be a comedy of errors (actually it is entirely my fault).

The turnaround was so quick that he even got to pitch in with cleaning up the house. This is only fitting of course, since he’s the one who blew it up in the first place.

Football: “My other son would never blow up the house. He doesn’t even have opposable thumbs.”

I tried to hire a maid to help but he just ended up mopping the same puddle in the bathroom over and over again until someone fired him.

During his brief stay in the underworld, Lockpick got to know some of his ancestors. Doris is delighted to see that Lockpick is carrying on the family traditions of stealing and burning people to death.

Gus is slightly less delighted as he now faints every time he sees his grandson.

I am totally delighted. My new favorite hobby is taking pictures of things through Lockpick. He makes a lovely fire ghost.

Football may need some time to adjust to all these changes. After all, he gained a son, then lost him, then gained him again all within the span of two days.

Dixie, on the other hand, appears to have adjusted to the news that her love interest was dead very quickly. A little too quickly perhaps.

Nora invited her over immediately.

Dixie: “Hey Football! How’s it going?”

Football: “Well, my house blew up, destroying my life’s work, but other than that I can’t complain.”

Lockpick: *conspicuous cough*

Dixie: “AHHH It’s a ghost!”

Lockpick: “Whoa hold on…I mean, yes, I am a ghost. But it’s me, Lockpick. I still love you Dixie.”

Dixie: “Uh, look Lockpick, I don’t know how to tell you this – I’m seeing someone else.”

Lockpick: “What?! I was only dead for a day”

Dixie: “Well what did you expect me to do? Wait?”

Later…

Football: “So Nora tells me that you are also my son – is this true?”

Hotwire: “Yup. That why I’ve got purple skin like you.”

Football: “Ah yes, I suppose that does make sense. Well then, welcome to the family, uh…um…what was your name again?”

Hotwire: “Englebert Humperdink.”

Later that evening Hotwire grew up

He moved out almost immediately, preferring to trust the management of his life to story progression rather than me. A wise choice.

Hotwire: “Thank goodness my picture never has to go up on that wall.”

I hadn’t entirely given up hope of Football attaining his lifetime want – to possess 50,000 simoleons worth of stolen goods. I checked the buy mode and discovered that the airplane sculpture cost way more than that on its own. Unfortunately, there was no option to steal when I sent him over to the military base to check it out.

There was, however, an option to detonate, which was almost as exciting. An item this big would surely cause an enormous explosion.

Or not. We did get a bunch of scrap, though. Just what this family needs (not).

Nora hasn’t been idle in her old age either. She’s been going out collecting.

Quite successfully too. Here, she surveys her collection of all ten varieties of gem.

After a celebratory makeover, she went ahead and sent out a very special package in the mail. What was it?

A heart cut pink diamond!

And what did we need a heart cut pink diamond for? Football has been working on a very special invention.

Football: “Ow! You’d think mastering the skill of inventing would mean I’d stop hitting my thumb with the hammer every five minutes, but you would be wrong.”

Football: “IT’S ALIIIVVVVEEEE!!!”

Alibi: “Daddy!”

Meet Alibi Dodger, simbot. I never wrote down his traits but I assure you they weren’t very interesting. He’s an ugly hunk of scrap isn’t he?

Football takes his two favorite sons to the park to play a game of catch.

Football: “Here I am, father to four strapping young lads/robots/pieces of sporting equipment. I am the happiest man alive.”

And he’s about to get a whole lot happier!! After DeAndre Wolf ruined a Dodger party by dying in the middle of it, his mansion had stayed empty for a long time. finally, though, a new family moved in. Football invited himself over right away so he could introduce himself to the very expensive car in the garage.

Being a Dodger, he stole a lighting fixture and a washing machine first, but finally he turned his attentions to the car. One swipe later and his LTW was in the bag!